Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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