thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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