So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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