even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
