Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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