i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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