how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
