you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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