You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize