Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize