i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
