I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wish my penis had a tongue
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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