i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
