Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize