the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
