Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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