Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
