i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
