i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
