Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
