I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
