am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
pray to the hookup gods
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
