oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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