We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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