My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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