He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
God I need to hump something, right now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
