i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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