booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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