I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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