Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
