I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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