remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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