the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize