I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
