yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
