Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
