Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
