she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
