I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
