Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize