hotel room ftw
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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