Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
