you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
