yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
