problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
being pregnant is like rehab
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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