so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
