The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
