is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
