i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
