roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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