Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
