Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
