I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
