are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
