Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize