Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
