dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
