I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
