How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
