yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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