I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
