GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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