I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
