I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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