we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
