Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize