i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize